Flu shot anyone?

So I went to get my flu shot and get weighed in - YIKES!!!  I have gained 5 pounds.  It is time to get serious about getting it off.

I am having some difficulty transitioning into real life.  I haven't completely lost it, but even knowing some foods are forbaden - and I do stay away from them- I seem to have lost touch with portion size again.  Portion size is small small small.  And every where you go - except of course if you are going to the most expensive restaurants in the country -  portion sizes are huge huge huge.

Point in fact.  I asked TH to bring me home a salad.  My favorite salad is the cobb salad I think, with lots of chicken and cheese and avocado.  Delicious.  And though I ate the whole think at one sitting, it really was a portion size to feed four people.  (Okay maybe three)

So back to the flu shot.  I got one only because I am going on this trip.  I read somewhere that the flu shot can cause dementia.  I know I know everything can cause something, but really if you think about it, why would you willing inject a dead virus into yourself. What if one of those little pesky viruses wasn't really dead, just playing dead, then you would have injected a live virus and whammo your sick.

Then she (the nurse) told me my arm would be really sore afterwards.  Why?  I asked.  I don't know it just will be.

Um okay.  She wasn't the best shot giver (it hurt), but my arm isn't sore, so maybe she just shot me with a placebo.

Hey, maybe they aren't really giving flu shots - they are all placebos and they are saving billions and billions of dollars.  Hmm.

woop woop

Well I did Sawyer Camp Trail twice - 24 miles, two hours.  I even did the hill twice this time.  woop woop.

But back to reality, I have way to much work to do before I go, that I am close to just shutting down.  Taxes audits and reviews oh my.

So trying to fit everything in, some things are being left behind (I think that is a name of a series as well)  If I don't get cracking I am going to be the one left behind.  No more blogs until everything is done.

I am going to India and that is that.

Blah

I feel blah.  I feel blah.  I feel blah.

I want to win the lottery.

I am going to take Fuk to casino.

I am going to win a million dollars.

I am going to retire.

Let's teach you backstroke

So at the fitness swim (no we are not any "fitness" swimming it is mostly drills) the instructor decided to teach us back stroke.  I sat there thinking, hmm he is going to see my backstroke and think I am picture perfect. 

Wrong - He had a lot to say about my back stroke, and I stood there with my mouth agape.  First he was telling me my head was moving too much and to hold it still.  I don't know if it was or wasn't but for the next lap I held it still for him.  Then he said your bobbing in the water too much.  Huh? 

Sometimes I get lazy with my stroke, and when I do LZ will remind to do this and that, and I will do that, but I haven't had anyone tell me I bob too much.  I took the second class because he said that we would work on butterfly.  I haven't even tried to do the butterfly since my triumphant return to the pool.  I never was any good at it before, and I know I will bomb now.

But really - I bob too much?  Really?

2nd horrify thing I found out the other day

So we have lived next to our neighbors for oh I don't know maybe 17 years, and I have never had a conversation with them.  TH always is good about chatting up the neighbors, mainly to keep them happy with our barking dogs.  But our neighbor was coming home just as I was leaving and she started to talk, and not being rude I talked back.

I found out she is on the masters team I want to join if I ever get to that point, but more to the horrifying bit -

In India we are going on a camel safari.  She was talking about how they did the safari last year and how uncomfortable camel rides are blah blah blah.  I really don't care that much about the comfort of the ride I asked what was  and is always on my mind - what about the bathrooms. 

She gave me this queer little look and said - bathrooms?  Your in the middle of the desert what bathrooms. 

So I say well what did you do when you had to go to the bathroom.  And she kind of rolled her eyes and said you go in the sand. 

What no toilet, no outhouse nowhere to place my frigging butt.  You mean I have to go in front of god and everybody?  Really?  Oh dear - I might just get a bladder infection.

So I have been tempted to dehyrdate myself so I won't have to go, but that kind of freaks me out considering my mom almost died of dehyrdation.  Maybe I will go with the diaper.

I am back...

So I have been absent, and I am not going to try and go back over all those lost and lonely days, but I will talk about yesterday.

As many of you know the middle sisters (check out our blog themiddlesisters.blogspot.com for our upcoming trip) are getting ready to go on a trip in a month, and in that particular trip we are doing a couple of things that I am not 100 percent comfortable with.

Lets start with the easy one first.  We are doing a multi-sport trip through Bhutan for the first week.  In that multi-sport trip we are biking anywhere from 10-35 miles a day.  Up to yesterday I really hadn't been on a bike, just kind of pretending it wasn't going  to happen.  Well not really, but I did keep telling myself that I could always take the sag wagon if it got to hard.

So I finally broke down and decided that I probably should do a couple of rides before we go, so since I know the east bay better for riding then SF I decided I would do an old ride from my previous training.

Now the only thing I really have to say about the ride was that I decided to start my training on the hottest day of the year at the hottest time of the day.  I did finish the ride, but I was miserable.

Furthermore, I thought the ride was 26 miles, so I kept telling myself that by the time I hit the 13 mile mark I could decide to turn around.  I was pretty sure that I was going to turn around before I hit the 13 mile mark, but I found out the ride was only 14 miles, so actually that was a good thing, but I am now glad I didn't turn around at the 12 mile mark.

So I talked to T2 about it and asked how fast she rode.  She said that she did between 18-20 miles an hour, and I thought oh good, I did that  part of the way, she wouldn't be outriding me too much.

So to continue my training I went out again today.  Another scorcher, it was 96 degrees by the time I got out of the car and on the road, but since I was by the bay I did have a a bit of wind.  In fact going out I was so proud that I was riding into the wind and doing 17-18 mph, I thought wow T2 is going to eat my dust, just think how fast I will be coming back with the wind at my back.

Well, umm, yea, the wind was at my back going out.  Coming back I was lucky to get up to 14 mph.  As I panted my way home I was going slow enough to notice the flags and which way the flags were blowing.  Hmm.  I rode 20 miles in 90 minutes - flat flat flat.  I now have my first finger blister (I hold the bike with my pinky and I always would get blisters on my pinky, if I held the bike correctly I probably wouldn't get blisters ya know.)

Anyway I was thinking of doing 33 miles Thursday, but now I am definitely having second thoughts, especially if it stays this hot.  Well we will see.

Yay!!!!

So sometimes it pays to have things not work out like they are suppose to.

I went swimming today, and as I was driving away I realized that I had forgotten my watch, that tracks times and stroke and length, and I have grown very lazy, and I like having an official record, so I turned around and came back to get my watch.

Then as I was pulling out again, I had to go to the bathroom.  I hate going to the bathroom there (though it is very clean) so I turned around again and went to the bathroom.

I lucked out and got a parking space on the second floor - unheard of on a weekday @10, so I am thinking this is just too good to be true.  I guess if I hadn't had all those false starts I wouldn't have this most perfect parking place.

So I get up to the deck, and I grab my swim cap and damn it wasn't there.  I don't swim without a cap, it does horrendous things to your hair, and it gets into your eyes to boot, so I decide I am just going to go home.  Then I thought I drove all the way here, got the most perfect parking place, to drive home without having something to show for it is just not going to happen.  So I trudged downstairs (the pool of course is on the roof) and ask the receptionist if they have extra swim caps, to borrow or buy.  No no no.  As she sits there playing solitary I ask her if she has a hair rubber band.  She says yes and hands me a rubber band.  I look at it - smiled and said thank you.

A rubber band - really?  Okay so I used it.  But I have to say when I got up to the deck, there was a hair band on the deck floor and I was really really tempted.  Really tempted.

So I didn't have any cramps or muscle aches today.  My eyes didn't burn and while I did have to share a lane I didn't have to circle, so that was all good.  Except for...I got really really dizzy.  I think that the cold water effected my head and that made me dizzy.  Another reason to wear a cap.  Plus I didn't realize that I have a habit of pulling on my cap.  Every time I stopped I reached up to pull my cap down, only to realize that I didn't have a cap on.  I pulled my hair once - does that mean I am going senile?   Oh well.

I a positive note I did break 6:50.  I did 6:47 for the 400, next stop 6:30.  And I did 7:37 for the 400 back (yards folks) I don't have any goals for the 400 back, hmm maybe 7?



 

rabies rabbi who cares

I almost quit writing this damn blog because I didn't know how to spell rabies.  So sue me.  I am not the first person to get a brain fart.  And staying true to my history I was never a good speller.    Or good with grammar for that matter.  I blame it on my mom.  She was more interested that I learn to add then spell so... go ahead ask me what 8+7 adds up to.

I have never seen my husband so full of glee reading my post about rabies.  He couldn't wait to come and tell me all about those rabid rabbis - jerk.  Boy will he be sorry when I get rabies.

So for all those people out there who think less of me for misspelling rabies - let me tell you it won't be the last time I misspell a word - so deal with it.

Don't let monkeys bite you

So I had my phone interview for our trip to India, and the nurse was telling me what to do and what I needed to take and just as I was about to hang up she said oh yea don't let the monkeys bite you.  Hmm yea???  What you think I am going to give them my arm and say here bite away.  Of course I am going to try and keep the monkeys from biting me, but is this something I have to worry about.  Do I have to take active precautions to keep the monkeys from biting me?  Is there a spray "monkey off" that I can use.  How exactly am I suppose to keep the monkeys from biting me?  Now that she brought it up I take it is something I need to worry about so what am I suppose to do?

It is kind of like I warned you to stay away from nuclear reactors it isn't my fault you didn't heed my warning and now your dying of radiation poisoning.

I have heard of monkeys swarming tourists, and when we were in Ajmer they were pretty bold, but I never really worried about them.  I was more worried about the bats.  Whew - she didn't say anything about bats, so I guess I don't have to worry about them.

She did tell me also that they don't give rabbi shots ahead of time.  That if we are bitten by a monkey that it has to be assessed there, and the doctors there will have to decide the protocol.  I actually have never heard of someone taking rabbi shots proactively, do you think a lot of tourist get rabbis?  Do you think they get the rabbis from the monkey bites?  Maybe I should buy a gun and just shoot any monkey that gets to close.  Yep I been around TH way too long.

Walking with D

On of my favorite people is D.  She is always full of energy and lots of juicy gossip, so  walking with her is always a treat.  But dang was it cold walking.  I don't  know what it was but it was cold really really cold.  Which made the walk a little uncomfortable.  T2 said that I am feeling the cold more now because I don't have the padding I used to, I say geez it is just cold.  I had my hands wrapped up in the jacket under my arms, my nose in the jacket and wondering what it is about everyone who peels off their jacket in 50 degree weather.

I went to visit my mother in WC and my Texas nephew was there - she had the doors open and a nice breeze was coming through, I took off my jacket, N put on the fan and I ended up putting my jacket back on and adding a blanket.  I mean really Texas...

So I needed a much needed break from swimming.  I just am not that good and it does depress me sometimes.  There is nothing worse then swimming along and having someone pass you like you are standing still - bah humbug                                                                   

I hate swimming

I hate swimming today.  I hate everything about it.  I hate the boredom of swimming lap after lap.  I hate that people pass me like I am standing still, I hate being too cold, I just hate swimming.

I had a workout planned, and after only 45 minutes I cramped.  I really cramped.  Not the type of cramp that curls your toes and lets you know that you need to massage your muscles and possible be able to continue your workout for another half hour.  No not that kind of cramp.  I got the cramp that deforms you leg - your foot - you can't move it.  And you know if you do just one little movement wrong you are going into that child birth pain.  Screaming agony, leaving you writhing on the floor begging someone to come help you.   That kind of cramp.  I couldn't even finish the lap.  I hobbled to my towel and down to the locker room.  I had only gone 45 minutes - 2000 yards, but that was okay, I was hating swimming even before the cramp.

I usually don't find swimming that boring.  I know swimming up and down can be a bit of a bore, but it is also a bit meditative.  I don't really think about much of anything when I swim except counting laps.  Sometimes I count backwards just to do something different.  But I can't count laps and count strokes, so I just count laps.  One - two - three that is all that is going through my mind.  But then when people start passing me the meditative state goes away, and I am like - can I pick up the pace and keep pace with the person who just passed me.  Ninetynine percent of the time the answer is no.  No I can't keep pace with that college swimmer, no I can't keep pace with that 25 year old man.  No I can't keep pace with that sixty year old woman.  Then I just get depressed.  I was depressed today.

Also, I am still full from yesterday's dinner, and I have eaten everything I am going to eat today, and it is only three pm.  I have another seven hours of not eating before I can go to bed.  Dang.  Maybe I will do the elliptical.  At least I can watch TV when I do that.

I hate swimming.

Taking my arm out for a test drive

So I test drove my arm today, and so far so good.  I did 3650 and I was still going, except for the cramping for the last 500.  So I am optimistic that the cortisone shot did work. 

But I am also have other weirdness.  When I got done with the workout, my fingers were white, like all the color had been leeched out of them.  They didn't hurt, but it was really weird looking, my brown arms and my white fingers.  I can only wonder if that was part of the cortisone. 

The true test will come when I swim tomorrow.  I can usually swim one day and not be in too bad of shape but two days kills my arm.  We will just have to wait and see.

But I was back at Brisbane today and unfortunately it seems that there are some new faces, and they kicked my butt.  With three people in the pool I was only the second fastest - I guess we are just going to have to remedy that.

I signed up for a fitness swim at BAKAR starting September 5, it runs three weeks - twice a week (Mondays and Wednesdays) so I will have LZ in the morning on Wednesday and the fitness class in the evening.  Might have to take a few naps in between.

Fin girl was there today, she is getting faster, but I am faster until she puts on those damn fins.  Blast it all anyway. 

On a positive note, it seems that my watch did work this week, so I did a 400 free in under 7:00 (just) so we can put that to rest.

Next up - 400 free under 6:55.

Flushing

The cortisone shot is making me red.  Really red.  I look like I have a horrendous sunburn.  I am not sure how well it has worked yet as I have yet to swim.  Tomorrow morning will be the first day that I can actually do a workout, but it still hurts to put my arm over my head.  So I am not sure how well the shot worked.  Will find out tomorrow.

Other side effects - maybe - I have been chilled and hot.  Oh maybe that is just menopause, but I was thinking it is another side effect.  But maybe not.

I get weighed in - I already know I am over last week, but I really can't do anything about that.  I guess I will have to workout 2 hours instead of one.  Maybe that will help.  Also I want to throw some weights in the mix, but before I could I would need how to do it correctly.

I received my FD this morning - first in five months, and I was so looking forward to, but it tasted
"old" but now I don't have to worry about meals anymore.  Though tomorrow I have lunch and dinner planned out, oh well.

I know everyone is waiting to see how the cortisone shots work, stay tuned.

Gaining weight

So I have been going through transition for five weeks, and last week I stayed the same, this week I am actually gaining weight.  I am feeling a bit disheartened as I haven't had more then 1145 calories in a day.  And yes I am measuring.  If I exercise for an hour and eat 1145 calories and gain two pounds something is very wrong.  In fact today I only had 1040 calories, but when I got on the scale after  - yes after - exercising for an hour I was up 4 pounds.  I was completely dehydrated and exhausted and I was up four pounds?  This is all very depressing.

Furthermore, I was sure I was in better shape then I was 13 years ago, but 13 years ago when I did the stationary bike I could do an hour at level three hill and barely break a sweat.  I did level two hill and I was literally groaning when the resistance went to 2.2.  To put it in perspective that is on a scale of 5 (with 5 being the Himalayas) so I was doing the foothills of Dublin, and if I was on a bike I would have fallen off and cried like a baby.

So I don't really know what to do.  I can't stay at 970 calories for the rest of my life, I just won't be able to do it.  I am disheartened and depressed.  I don't know what I am going to do.

Whoa Nellie that is a big needle (thank god I didn't see it)

So I have had this pain in my arm for - well ever since I started swimming.  I have had it diagnosed by many many people, but I have feared about going in to get it "official" diagnosed for fear that it was some major trauma. 

First off, I should always trust our resident nurse.  I haven't known her to be wrong yet, but she always does it with - I can't be totally sure - .  But when I told her my symptoms she immediately said it sounded like Bursitis, but she couldn't be sure. 

But Bursitis it is, and I got my first cortisone shot.  I am terrified of needles, and I have learned not to look when they inject me or take my blood.  So I guess that it was pretty lucky that I didn't look as TH said that it was like a foot long (the needle that is).

But even with the anesthetic I still felt something go into my arm, and I did feel very weak, dizzy and nauseous afterwards.  I thought for a moment that I was going to just pass out.  Horrible - horrible feeling.  Just typing this I am keening towards the side. 

But the three options she gave me was - 1.  quit swimming for a couple of months 2.  try fixing it with an anti-inflammatory drug (which she said would be like putting a teaspoon of water on a raging fire) or the cortisone shot.  It is a no brainer - but as I am sitting here writing this now my other arm is hurting.  Yikes!!!!

I was planning on swimming after the meeting, but she said not to swim today, so I was like - oh I wasn't even thinking about it.  I wonder why I lied?  Hmm, now that is a strange phenomena.

Well tax returns call...

Tyr

I have to write this.  Every now and then I have to remind people about her and the immense love I have for her still.

What brought this about was we as a group were going to see a show that one of our group mates is in, and I wanted to see it and get to know everyone better, but one of the people going, well I just don't like him.  I don't like him because in front of a group of 20 strangers he put his wife down, and continued to put her down for the next few weeks.  He has stopped, but I haven't forgotten, and truthfully I don't want to meet her right now.  But that got me to thinking about all the negative things that I have said about my life, and for most of the people out there they know that I love my family my house and my life.  But frustration does creep up and you speak those frustrations or think them and then you can never take them back, even if other people understand where your coming from.

At the end of Tyr's life she was in a bad way.  She couldn't walk, she couldn't stand, couldn't  smell and in the end she couldn't see.  There were times that I would wish she just wouldn't wake up.  I did not want to choose how and when she died, I wanted her to choose that.  And I felt as I was betraying her wishing that she would die and take the burden off of me.  I would lie in bed with my arms wrapped around her and try not to cry for fear that she would get upset that I was upset.  But I was too selfish and the tears came.  I would hold her and ask the universe god medicine magic to give her back her health.  I offered up some of my life force just to give her another healthy eight years.  I would gladly give her eight years of my life if I could have.  I wanted some magic to work, to give me my puppy back.

But people ask me in those times do I wish I had put her down *killed* her earlier?  Never.  Even those last minutes with her were a little piece of heaven.  She was the embodiment of love.  Never have I felt so loved, so wanted, so protected then when I was with her.  And in the end she let me know she needed me, and that is the greatest gift she could give me.  She let me take care of her with dignity and grace that you don't see in to many people, let alone canines.  She would always be there to lick away my tears, she felt my sadness and she tried to shield me from it.  

I wish I could have given her as great a life as she gave me.  I feel I short changed her, and I wish I could give her all happy memories.  All good all the time, because that is what she was.

I miss her.

Where or where does the time go?

I am very proud of myself that I swam four days in a row.  The first day I got really bad leg cramps so I had to cut the workout short (about a mile and a half) the second day I got really bad leg cramps so I had to cut the workout short (about a mile and a half - seeing a trend) so on the third day I said okay the electrolytes didn't help lets try a banana and see if that works.  Well I made it an extra five minutes.   So I tried the banana again today - well I didn't cramp, but the chlorine was so bad I had to get out because my eyes were burning so bad.  But maybe the banana did work - maybe.

Problem is I hate - absolutely hate - bananas.  I thought I was going to puke eating it.  I literally gagged it down.  It was horrible.  Makes me want the cramps.  What is the worse of two evils?  bananas or leg cramps - hmm.  Really I am leaning towards the cramps.

But now that I have more energy I decided to up the intensity.  Chlorine or not, my goal was to swim the 400 in under 7 minutes.  That would average 1:45 per hundred.  So after the warm up off I went to do my time trial.  I did it 6:59 - not bad, but then I looked at my watch and it said that I only did 12 laps.  I don't think so, the time was right and I counted, so I am pretty sure that it was 16, but now I will always have doubt.  But if it was seven minutes for a 300 that would mean I was doing the 100's in 2 minutes and 20 seconds.   And since I did the warm up (very slowly) in a minute fifty-nine per hundred, and I swam hard for the second four hundred - I really think I counted right and my watch was wrong, but still...there will always be doubt.

So next up were 100's.  Yesterday I did 14 100's on 1:55, so today I decided that I would ramp it up and do 4 x100's on 1:50.  Need to push if I want to get to that 1:30 repeat mark.  I did do it but I was trashed when I was done.  Good thing the chlorine was bad I might have had to swim more.

Monday Monday -

So I was off to a conference this morning.   Getting up early enough to eat, drink and be on time just doesn't happen.  When I swim in the morning I don't have to shower and I don't really have breakfast (though I know I probably should eat something, but I so look forward to breakfast when I get home) so I go unkempt and stinky.  But who really cares. 

At one time I thought if your stinky it doesn't matter because your in the water anyway and it won't carry over, but I found out that that is just not true.  I remember one time swimming next to someone who had really bad BO, and I wondered how come it was so smelly being in the water and all.

But the worst is when you go to these retirement homes swimming pool, and these old ladies get in and swim trying not to get their hair wet, and you are as far away from them as you can get and you still smell their hair.  There is nothing worse then the smell of dirty hair.  Well IMHO. 

So when I go and don't shower before hand I am prepared for - Woo who is that stinky girl (okay who is that stinky middle age woman.)  But like those old woman in the retirement community I have paid my dues - I have ever right to be stinky - so there - and if you don't like you can go swim somewhere else.

Oh but yea I got side tracked.  We had lunch at Denny's and I got the 1/2 Cranberrry Apple Chicken Salad with Balsamic Vinaigrette (310 calories) leaving half the chicken behind.  I asked for the dressing on the side, and when it came it was easily 1/2 a cup.  My hubby always asked me if I would like a little cake with that frosting, I guess they wanted to give me a little salad with my dressing.  I am sure - absolutely sure that the dressing alone (if I had used it all or even half of it) would have been well over 400 calories seriously.  I looked up a single serving - two tablespoons - 110 calories - one cup 800 calories.  But the point is the dressing given was way more then the total meal was suppose to be. 

Friday/Saturday Walk Walk Walk

So I didn't want to talk about weight anymore, but during this transition I am following to the "T" and I gained a pound this morning?  How/how can that possibly be true?  I walked yesterday, I swam the day before, I did not overeat (in fact I ate less then I was allowed,) and still I woke up weighing a pound heavier - Yikes

So I was going to go to lunch with a friend after my walk this morning, but after the pound increase I nixed that in the bud.  I don't know why, but it doesn't matter, I can't eat out if I gained a pound.

But the walk was so nice.  T2 and J are my favorite people to walk with.  I don't have to watch speed, or worry that I am walking too fast or it is too hard.  In fact I fear that they worry about whether or not I can keep up with them.  J is a little demon going up hills, get her talking so she doesn't know I am panting - sneaky I know.

Thursday - swimming

So now with all the company gone, and being able to eat a bit more swimming is back on the radar.  I was going to try and get to Brisbane this morning, but I just couldn't pull myself out of bed so I ended up going to Bakar.  

It wasn't the greatest workout, it wasn't even a good workout, but it was a start.  I did get a bit surprised when I did 100 breast in 2:08.  That is about what I do the back, so something is not working with my backstroke.

I timed my 100 kicks and found that 100 breast kick I did in 2:43 and 100 free kick in 2:49 and 100 back in 3:08.  Don't ask - I am going to have to go on the internet and figure out what all that means.

So yes I cramped fairly early on, but it didn't really matter, the master team came to swim so all of us nonmasters were shoved into two lanes.  I don't really have a problem with circling, but the two people I was circling with was - well after ten minutes of trying to swim with them I quit and got out.

One of them was a fairly young person (maybe 12-14 - I really am not good about age) and the other person was probably in his 60's.  So the boy decided that he was going to do sprints and the men decided he was going to do a really slow breast stroke.  I was suppose to be doing 100's, but even giving the guy a length and a half I still caught him, and if I tried to do drills the boy would come crashing into me.  

So what did I learn  - get there with enough time to get my workout in and get out before the masters comes.

Maybe I will try Brisbane tomorrow.

On another note - I came home from swimming and the workman had been in my  - yes my - bathroom.  It was so disgusting, they didn't flush the toilet and there was pee all over the seat (they didn't lift the seat).  It was just gross.  Totally.  

So I scrubbed the toilet scrubbed the seat, and when I went down there this evening what do you know - the toilet wasn't flushed and there was pee all over the seat.  Please husband tell him to use your bathroom.