Packing

Swimsuits again

I had mentioned earlier that I probably needed to get a swimsuit that wasn't all stretched out, but I really didn't think anyone noticed.  But Today L told me that I needed to get a new suit.

I was like oh my goodness I am showing too much in the pool and she is embarrassed for me.  I looked down and finally asked her if it was coming down, maybe showing too much?  All she said was it needs to be tighter.

I guess my sagging body needs to be held in place.  I know that the swimsuits is stretched out, I wore it when I was 60 pounds heavier, but I thought it was holding up okay.  So I have a quandary.    Do I go a size smaller and stretch it out, because I am planning on losing another 40 pounds, or do I go with the same size?  I tried on a smaller size, I got it on and it seemed to be okay, but I am so use to wearing it a little loose now I don't know.  If it crawls up my butt it is too small.  I don't want to get in the pool and find out while swimming.  That just isn't fun.  Swimming your heart out with a wedgy.

I do have a swimsuit a size smaller that I wore before, but the seam is starting to be pulled taut.  I remember seeing a picture of a woman who had split her racing suit before her swim.  I don't want my swimsuit splitting.  What to do what to do.  I am not at goal, I don't want to buy any clothes, I was hoping they would hold up.  Ack...

Observations

One of the things that I have observed is that I am careful when I eat.  It is very important to me to have something to eat in the evening, and so I make sure that I have food left for the evening.  I still will occasionally go to the kitchen, but I am aware of it, and when I do I generally change directions to the tea kettle.

I also note that when I am craving food, if I have a bar the craving tends to go away.  Driving mom home from the casino I stopped and got her a hamburger, but before I did I ate a bar and I had no desire for the hamburger.

I have no cravings right now for sweets.  Maybe when you have just enough calories to survive on your body takes over and craves foods with nutrients rather than - what?  Quick energy?

I feel guilty after eating real food.  I think I am cheating or something and I worry that I have the calories wrong, or I am eating too much.  Even with putting the ingredients into my fitness pal I still worry that I have it wrong.

A single serving of chicken I bought was 6 ounces, I was going to eat it all, but I only ate half.  I was full, I ate lots of veggies, and couldn't eat the whole 6 ounces.  I was very surprised how much I liked the veggies, steamed with nothing.

Eat your veggies first.  I have always eaten in the order of what I don't want to what I want.  Sometimes I couldn't eat all of what I wanted, but most of the times it wasn't a issue.  Now with the shrinking of the stomach (who said your stomach doesn't shrink?) you really do get overfull.

It is really really hard to find food that does not have some oil in it.  I am curious what it will be like with oil?  The smell of oil in fast foods doesn't smell that awesome.

I am becoming a bit of a food nazi?  Not yet, but it might happen.  I found myself telling T to put the damn waffles back.  Not pretty.