I am seeking the perfect balance - well sort of. I struggle daily with food, and sometimes I just fail. So to make the failures less I try and balance it with - exercise. But I am not exercising to eat. Not really. I am exercising to be the best. The best bike rider the best swimmer and the fastest walker. In the world - well no. But a girl can dream.
My motto has always been if you didn't win then you lost. I mean winning is everything - everything. Being the fastest swimmer in a small pond is much better then being the slowest swimmer in a large pond. But sometimes you have to lose, sometimes you just have to migrate to those larger ponds.
LZ worked my little (or large) butt off today. I know when I have workouts with her that it is going to hurt. I dread Tuesdays and Thursdays mornings. I can't seem to be able to keep up, be as fast as she wants. She will say we will do these on the 2:30 and I will not get done until 2:32, and then I feel I failed her. And sometimes I think I just won't try. If I just don't try on the first one, then she won't know I not trying on all the others. But it isn't in me to do that. If she tells me to go 80% I try and go 80% even though I know that she is going to have me do the last one at 100%, and I won't be able to keep that pace up. So when I do 80% and keep doing it, by the time she asks for 100% I can't do the 80% time.
But I keep trying, I keep getting in the pool and keep thinking I am too exhausted and just want to stop. But then I think I just have to do this for half an hour. That is it. Half an hour of pain. Every Tuesday and Thursday. Yet I wouldn't give up my Tuesday and Thursday for anything.
My motto has always been if you didn't win then you lost. I mean winning is everything - everything. Being the fastest swimmer in a small pond is much better then being the slowest swimmer in a large pond. But sometimes you have to lose, sometimes you just have to migrate to those larger ponds.
LZ worked my little (or large) butt off today. I know when I have workouts with her that it is going to hurt. I dread Tuesdays and Thursdays mornings. I can't seem to be able to keep up, be as fast as she wants. She will say we will do these on the 2:30 and I will not get done until 2:32, and then I feel I failed her. And sometimes I think I just won't try. If I just don't try on the first one, then she won't know I not trying on all the others. But it isn't in me to do that. If she tells me to go 80% I try and go 80% even though I know that she is going to have me do the last one at 100%, and I won't be able to keep that pace up. So when I do 80% and keep doing it, by the time she asks for 100% I can't do the 80% time.
But I keep trying, I keep getting in the pool and keep thinking I am too exhausted and just want to stop. But then I think I just have to do this for half an hour. That is it. Half an hour of pain. Every Tuesday and Thursday. Yet I wouldn't give up my Tuesday and Thursday for anything.
"She will say we will do these on the 2:30 and I will not get done until 2:32, and then I feel I failed her."
ReplyDeleteWhy do you care if you fail her? If you are happy with your progress, your successes, even your failures - they who cares if anyone else feels failed??
Just asking...looking forward to seeing your little butt tomorrow!
J
Ah ha - T3 has been BUSTED! Most athletes I have known (including a former athlete, yours truly) with good coaches are motivated to try to please their coach & I think "Anonymous" knows this & is outstanding at motivation. The "little butt" is off swimming today & is striving to make progress.
ReplyDeleteYay!!!!